The title translates roughly to: "Reflections while in a hospital bed." I was recently hospitalized unexpectedly for about 4 days and all I had with me was pen, paper, the bedside Gideon's Bible and massive doses of opiates. None are particularly good, but each reflects some perspective that felt unique during my stay.
"On Every Human Shame" #1
I can see through windows
Of long-damaged hearts
Bright, ornate souls, such
Deception is quite an art.
I can feel a fever
Rising in this room
That asks 100 questions
From 100 points of view.
I cut my heart to pieces
I saw you do the same
Then we looked with naked eyes
On every human shame.
The general giving orders
The pilots dropping bombs
Senators pose their questions
Shiny black box gifts sent home.
Once your eyes are burned
In the fire-sight of truth
There's no reason for regret
And even less to see things through.
Board by board
And brick by brick
Nothing will be left
When we're done with it.
"Lessons in Propaganda" #2
I stopped listening
About half an hour ago
To the noises of the greedy
Fed with wine, oil, and ego.
I stopped listening
Stop listening?
I stopped seeing the ads
Sell a life I can't wear
And started seeing them
For what they are.
I started seeing things
For what they are?
Lessons in propaganda
For lying to myself
To think and act, though
Just as fake as anyone else.
Just close your eyes
And see things for what they are?
And that Bible in your hand
Can't hide the murder in your heart.
For what they are
Is broken.
"Doesn't Make Sense" #3
What is it about human intelligence
Like an old stray dog that bites too much
Like a glass-jaw fighter that loves to punch
It don't make sense to anyone
No it don't make sense to anyone.
What's all the talk about men with guns
They say the world's safe when we all got one
Like riding shotgun with Mr. Zimmerman
That don't make sense to anyone
No it don't make sense to anyone.
Life is full of ups and down
Holes we dig, kings we crown
The gods left Athens for Hollywood
That don't make sense to anyone
No that don't make sense to anyone.
What's this talk about condemnation
Churches carry signs that spew nauseous hatred
Love thy neighbor must apply to someone else
That don't make sense to anyone
No it don't make sense to anyone.
What's with all the mainstream news
By the time you've heard it, you feel abused
Is it all that bad? Are we so near the end?
Well I've gotta admit that kind of makes sense
Then again, fear sells like nobody understands.
So fear sells weapons, armor, and gated homes.
It sells drugs and therapy you'll need before long.
It sells laws and people and history to...
The highest bidder sits on the throne.
"A City Below" #4
There's a city underneath the bridge
Where the cold weather wind
Pushes me out to the edge
Daring me time and time again
There's a city underneath the bridge
Where dreams go to die in pain
It's a fearless city on the fringe
Full of liars, drunks, and other saints.
There's a city underneath the bridge
Its ugliness strikingly beatific
As you grow older, you see the puzzle
Somehow the pieces are too warped to fit
In the city beneath the bridge
A flap tears open to reveal someone
A chess expert, a violin progidy
Smoking crack with abscessed arms.
The city beneath the bridge
It finds you or you'll find it
And if you manage to live through one night
You are the perfect kind of resident.
So welcome here, welcome home
How long will you be staying?
"Flares, A Rant" #5
Let's not play games just for now
You are happy to deny me
You would gladly crucify me
So let that rage out
When you tell me NO
Sell it with a smile and
A word from the Holy Ghost
In the end, nothing matters
We go on our separate ways
Me to suffer
You to feel the dark satisfaction
And this page is a graveyard
For the feelings of anger
That want to claw up
The edges of my back
With VIOLENT INTENT
Yet in the end, nothing matters
I'm another patient
Another bracelet
Another barcode to scan
Something dumb enough
To believe the myth that he's a man
Trying with desperate civility
To remain in civilized skin
Another volley fired
In an endless battle
Between disease, madness, and death
These diagnoses convenient labels
Enteritis, PTSD, Adjustment disorder, anxiety
Labels, and many more than these
Psychosis. Coma. All for me,
The disease and the damage done
For you, a reason to despise
A reason to deny.
And you're right to deny
To give me a face to hate and forgive.
For just a moment... until the next round.
"Re-Light" #6
I'm burning. Oh, oh I'm burning
And I'm hurting. Oh, oh I'm hurting.
Flashback into my state of mind
Where I'm gone and not afraid to find
Bullets sting whizzing by my brain
Hole in my belly, never will be the same
Hole in my belly, never gonna be the same
I'm yearning. Oh, oh I'm yearning
And I'm squirming. Oh, oh just squirming.
Re-light the fire of rock & roll
Re-ignite the spark of your withered soul
Blistered fingers bleeding on steel strings
Forget the hole in my heart, and let's go insane
Forget the hole in my heart, and let's go insane
I'm nothing. Oh, oh I'm nothing
Am I lying? Oh, oh am I lying?
Fall back into a desperate retreat
Bullets sting flying by my face
Bullets scream and burn my face
Hole in my head, bled out my brain.
Hole in my head, bled out my brain.
And I'm gone...
Re-light the fire of rock & roll
Re-ignite the spark of your withered soul
Blistered fingers bleeding on steel strings
Forget the hole in my heart, and let's go insane
Forget the hole in my heart, and let's go insane
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