The Bystander

What can I do? When my hands are tied?
What can I say? When I'm only standing by?
To those faithful, Standing in line at the train...
Would you rather be hiding, be fighting, or reminded to be sane?
How do you survive this? How do we rewind this?
Resist or submit, I'm still complicit,
So, how can we ever survive this?

What could I do? A steady diet of lies?
Should I deport you? Or find a place you can hide?
To those travelers, Headed for the iron gates...
Would you rather be hiding, be fighting, or stare down the barrel of fate?
And I'll never forgive myself. I'll never count again.
When I could've stood up, I stood by, And paid the price they demand.
So with every breath I cry, Hoping the tears make me blind.
And with every space in time...All I could do was stand by...

Fear like a cancer, left me a bystander...
To a war of heartless crimes.
Fear like a cancer, questions with no answer.
They slowly metastasize...

The trains, the showers, the ransom, the power, the bodies, the labor, my brother, my neighbor, the blood, the lies, the deathbed eyes, the shame, the pain, the weight of my name, the disease, the cancer, the solution, the answer, my fear of my fear, the cries I can't hear, the end that is near, with me standing here, resist, revive, try to stay alive...

Just long enough to stand by.

To Have and Hold and Feel Insecure

Sometimes you're hot
Other times you're cold
Sometimes I have what
I'll never ever hold

Sometimes I see you
Other times I'm just blind
Sometimes together
Others I'm three steps behind

But to have and to hold
Oh to feel, unafraid to show
It gets tough to feel so alone
Somewhere inside I'd rather not go

Sometimes you're lost
Other times you're home
Sometimes close by
Other times unknown

Sometimes you pay hard
Others you're just flat broke
Trying to run wide open
Pulling back on the choke

But to have and to hold
Oh to feel, unafraid to show
It gets tough to feel so alone
Somewhere inside I'd rather not go

Somewhere inside
In the places I hide
Somewhere inside
I'd rather not go...

But Maybe Now

A death song loud and clear
Where the winter wind crushes bone
The echo of silent suffering
A bloodless moment spent so alone.

Howling wind cuts a morning scream
Preaching hard through a prophet's feast
His eyes are all fear & trembling
But he's still got a taste for greed.

They say somethings are a mystery
Wonder, fear, and cold surprise
Digital pain and analog love
Every question built on a lie.

So, keep your eyes on the skyline
Keep your head to the ground
This is the kind of place where
A heart's not easily found...

But maybe now.

A Poem for A Song Called 'Sense of Style'

"That rug really tied the room together, did it not?"---Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski

I'll sit here, but I won't be near
I listen close, but I won't hear
In a room for a bit, but it's too intricate
Lines so delicate, their lies deliberate

Did you buy this?
Is it a torture kit?
Did you consider that
I might truly be sick?

I'll look at you, but I won't be the room
Bright-colored gloom, that laughs at me & you
A view askance, to this postmodern dance
No, this furniture, wasn't put here by chance

So you are a knife
Twisted deep inside
And my soul can't survive
Your sense of style

A Play of Words and Action

Out of two was one
In a moment unchosen
Out of darkness blind
Into a soul unfrozen
And once being known
In the presence of light
There's only one question
But I can't ask 'why?'

Because I don't get to know
Just wander on stage blind
It all seems so improvised
I don't get to know, just
Stare dumbly into the phone
Just words not truth or lies.

I searched out shadows
A place to hide ignorance
I built a character to show
The scale of my indifference
I wandered into different sets
Put on different clothes
I parroted some new words
Kept my head always low

But I still I don't get to know
Just wander on stage blind
It all seems so improvised
I don't get to know, just
Stare dumbly up at drones
Just words not truth or lies.

Once more two made one
In a moment of intention
This is how it goes on
In acceptable convention
And once seeing unknown
Biological invention
So the word on her lips
But I dare not mention...

You won't get to know
You'll wander the world alone
Among symbols and science
Still you will never know
Even balanced equations
Are words not truth or lies.

And after all, it's only living
Your worst is still your best
Because you'll never know 'why'
Instead of nothing you exist.