Die Anew

IV stings
Bedpan smells
The lonely nausea
I know so well.
The dehydrated
Muscle cramps
Contorted hands
Under harsh lamps.
And the routine
Moments bygone
But come again
Before long.

A daily warfare
Waged within
Weakness to some
To others sin.
But they're blind
To the stench idiotic
Bags of saline
Piggyback antibiotic.
I long to end
But fix my heart
On single purpose
A violent art.

So, I hate them
With paranoid fear
I long for death
But not here.
Not here...
On sterile sheets
Rather among cold earth
Accept me.
In its kind embrace
Again to be dirt
Where flowers grow
Picked gently.

For some other's
Cold hospital room
To quickly wilt,
And die, anew.

Something Never to Be Confessed

Every step is cautious
On a slippery slope
When you find the right vein
You'll take any dope
And with sweaty palms
You'll try to hang on
What you thought was here
Was so suddenly gone.

You painted a bull's eye
All across your heart
Every con man and archer
Thought to take a shot
You can only live so long
But it takes a lifetime to die
And you have to risk it all
Every moment to be alive.

You calculated every move
With quantitative precision
Only to look backward
With a coward's indecision
You measured carefully
A full length of rope
Then cut it inch by inch
With such pious hope.

I guess it was happiness
That made such a mess
With armored tenderness
You needed less and less
Because you had this
One ungrateful weakness
Don't ever confess
Your happiness.