Die Anew

IV stings
Bedpan smells
The lonely nausea
I know so well.
The dehydrated
Muscle cramps
Contorted hands
Under harsh lamps.
And the routine
Moments bygone
But come again
Before long.

A daily warfare
Waged within
Weakness to some
To others sin.
But they're blind
To the stench idiotic
Bags of saline
Piggyback antibiotic.
I long to end
But fix my heart
On single purpose
A violent art.

So, I hate them
With paranoid fear
I long for death
But not here.
Not here...
On sterile sheets
Rather among cold earth
Accept me.
In its kind embrace
Again to be dirt
Where flowers grow
Picked gently.

For some other's
Cold hospital room
To quickly wilt,
And die, anew.

To Restrain True Sorrow

Suffering exists
Not in contrived TV commercials
That swell with emotional music
And bloat the compassionate ego
Suffering exists
In the heart closest to yours
Where pains are locked up tight
Like a secret inheritance
Suffering exists
Caused by the withheld smile
The forced conversation
Naked words of obligatory sympathy
Suffering exists
To mock good intentions
To restrain true sorrow
To hold out hope just beyond your grasp
Suffering exists
In the quietest places of the soul
In the unacknowledged doubt
In the monotony of disconnected labors
As so we suffer
To avoid the embrace of our sorrow
To subvert what we would do...
To slaughter the human will
We suffer ourselves
We suffer our lives
We suffer our illusions of both
And hold our breath
Unless a delicate sigh once released
Should topple this house of cards
And lay bare the wounds
Inflicted by the tick of the clock
The shaky foundations of our world
Carefully insulating us
From the madness of reality
Yes, suffering exists
But don't tell anyone.