Dead Already

"Dead Already"

If you knew you would die in your sleep
From the time you woke up one day
What would you worry about?
The loved ones you leave behind?
Every day thousands of lives end
Those connected to their lives go on
Would you regret some omission of word or deed?
When you had a lifetime to bear it...
How vulgar, how profane
To stammer through it now
If you knew you would die today
Would you go to work?
Would you eat a favorite meal?
Would you climb onto the stair master
Would you sit in silent judgment
Of the life you have lived?
Or silent regret for the one you did not?
Would you say goodbye
Or make dozens of phone calls?
Would you just stare greedily
Into the faces of those you love?
If you knew your would die today
Would you pray?
Would you beg for more time?
I don't think so.
If you knew you would die today
You would do much as you do every day.
You would feel the same minor frustrations
That seem to make life unbearable: 
Poor cell phone reception, slow internet
Lovehandles you just can't shed
Those you love so much would walk by
Unnoticed as they so often are
If you knew your would die today
You would live just as selfishly as yesterday
Because you are going to die today
Some today
But don't covet your worries and cares
They were already dea.

What is it you pretend not to know?

What is this that you pretend not to know?
Is it that you are ugly or getting old?
Is it that you are not as smart as you seem to be?
Is it that you are full of all these doubts at once?
What is it that you pretend not to know?
That you are talentless and only faking?
That you want everyone to think you are cute?
That there is a rage inside you that's barely controlled?
What are you pretending not to know?
That you are empty inside and trying to plug the hole?
Is it that you are an addict or an obsessive?
That you are falling apart every second and
Just puling yourself back together in time to appear sane?
What do you pretend not to know?
That you are a crazy person in an insane world?
That wars and famines and diseases make sense?
That you think you could do something good but can't?
Why are you pretending not to know?
Is it because you are afraid to look for real answers?
Afraid to challenge your own beliefs?
Afraid of what you'll find at the end of the sentence?
What is it that you pretend not to know?
That your life is over?
That you are dis-abled?
That you have nothing to contribute to the world?
Is it that it's all a lie to you?
What is it that I'm pretending not to know?
That I don't know anything at all?
That I am actually happy?
That I lack the will for sorrow?
Or that I pretend always--
Pretending not to know

For Something Lost

There is a pain
That covers all
Fills in the cracks
Smooths out the lines.
It buries intention
Under piles of regret
It holds your throat
And squeezes tight.
It is a pain that
You wake with
You walk with
You sleep with
You speak with...
It shades every memory
Makes clear old mistakes
It keeps you up at night
With dark thoughts.
It haunts you
With its living presence
Because you utterly refuse
To let it go,
To let it die as it wants.
You hold on to this pain
In desperation
Out of sentiment
For something lost.