cold sweat

addiction is motivation
blinders on and unaware
that the world was bigger
than a pill bottle
close to empty, began
its lonely death rattle
only one more dose
better vomit first

Raider

I walked these streets
Quiet and unknown
My hunger and my thirst
A guide to my feet
Feet that always carefully
Guided my eyes
To pages wild and alive
With the danger of ideas
Feet that sought masters
To bow then overthrow
With words that rang loud
Like the bells of freedom
These doors unlocked
To grant me entrance
Where others unyielding
And I, uninvited
Did conspire with fate
And ancient bound pages
Cherishing this artifact
Raided by a mind

A Time

There was a time

When my heart sat low

Searching for feelings

I wouldn’t show.

There was a girl

How there always is

She drank my whiskey

Smoked my cigarettes.

There was a time

My eyes were young

Not battle-scarred

By things left undone.

And she was crazy

Just like I was

We danced a little

Oh, just because.

There was a time

I was present there

I’ve long since gone

To the end of her stare.

And whatever mask

Love wears tonight

There is no beginning

And no end in sight.

Dark Here

It gets dark here
It gets cold  and lonely
Eternal and desperate
No garden to be cast from
Only images that flicker
Against darkened eyes
Sheltered by the night
Weak with fear and hope
Propped up by a fiction
Weathered by time
That crashes relentless
Into the promise of dawn.

The Bystander

What can I do? When my hands are tied?
What can I say? When I'm only standing by?
To those faithful, Standing in line at the train...
Would you rather be hiding, be fighting, or reminded to be sane?
How do you survive this? How do we rewind this?
Resist or submit, I'm still complicit,
So, how can we ever survive this?

What could I do? A steady diet of lies?
Should I deport you? Or find a place you can hide?
To those travelers, Headed for the iron gates...
Would you rather be hiding, be fighting, or stare down the barrel of fate?
And I'll never forgive myself. I'll never count again.
When I could've stood up, I stood by, And paid the price they demand.
So with every breath I cry, Hoping the tears make me blind.
And with every space in time...All I could do was stand by...

Fear like a cancer, left me a bystander...
To a war of heartless crimes.
Fear like a cancer, questions with no answer.
They slowly metastasize...

The trains, the showers, the ransom, the power, the bodies, the labor, my brother, my neighbor, the blood, the lies, the deathbed eyes, the shame, the pain, the weight of my name, the disease, the cancer, the solution, the answer, my fear of my fear, the cries I can't hear, the end that is near, with me standing here, resist, revive, try to stay alive...

Just long enough to stand by.

Strange is the Night

Strange is the night, through skies stranger still. 
Where the song of my soul, seeks the right words to fill.
Pictures of conversation, burning and curious.
Where the silence is deafening, and the love most furious.

Where I find myself before falling down,
On my knees beneath the shape of sound,
Where I find myself before falling  down,
With dirty hands clutching cold, cold ground.

And strange is this life, and my love stranger still.
What are the words I believed ? What is the math I can feel?
Blisters on my tongue, and the faint taste of blood.
To sink or to swim? Or be swallowed by the flood?

Strange are the clouds, holding fast the tears of God.
Where the labors of men , never count for a lot.
And you found me where I'd fallen, on my knees still crying out.
And you found me where I'd fallen, and the words kept spilling out.


So is my own head my own to bow ?
Are my own thoughts my own to say aloud?
So is my own head my own to bow?
And are my own thoughts my own to say aloud?

To Have and Hold and Feel Insecure

Sometimes you're hot
Other times you're cold
Sometimes I have what
I'll never ever hold

Sometimes I see you
Other times I'm just blind
Sometimes together
Others I'm three steps behind

But to have and to hold
Oh to feel, unafraid to show
It gets tough to feel so alone
Somewhere inside I'd rather not go

Sometimes you're lost
Other times you're home
Sometimes close by
Other times unknown

Sometimes you pay hard
Others you're just flat broke
Trying to run wide open
Pulling back on the choke

But to have and to hold
Oh to feel, unafraid to show
It gets tough to feel so alone
Somewhere inside I'd rather not go

Somewhere inside
In the places I hide
Somewhere inside
I'd rather not go...