I
Am
historically crazy and unconscious
with all this
can't fake it
or make it
and take it
and break through?
I
Am
historically crazy and histrionic
subsonic
am I broken?
or hoping?
or even open
to you?
the art I create is the life that I live is the hope that I give where foundations unsteady tip over and break the illusions that hold us the possessions that own us and you know you know this
I
Am
historically crazy and unconscious
unresponsive
is it stealing?
revealing?
or kneeling
to find truth?
I
Am
historically crazy and despondent
sardonic
will I chase it?
or face it?
erase it
and fall through?
the life I create with the art that I hate with the heart that I break where unsteady foundations cause me to stumble and fall through the life I forestall the obsessions that build me I hide from all
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
To Be Human
Why should I resent this world?
When it is all I know and have known?
Maybe there is more to know, maybe not
That is a gamble wagered in the heart
What if it is wrong to be human?
To have this self-awareness and perception?
To have intention and words,
And feelings too human for those words?
What if humanity is nature's nightmare?
Should I dissolve myself back to dust?
That would be as useless as a drop of rain
Falling away in disgust of the rainbow.
What if I feel the burden of the pain and nightmares
That my particular life has borne?
Should I eat a bullet in fear,
No.
Better to bear witness, with eyes open
Unafraid
Unashamed
To be human.
When it is all I know and have known?
Maybe there is more to know, maybe not
That is a gamble wagered in the heart
What if it is wrong to be human?
To have this self-awareness and perception?
To have intention and words,
And feelings too human for those words?
What if humanity is nature's nightmare?
Should I dissolve myself back to dust?
That would be as useless as a drop of rain
Falling away in disgust of the rainbow.
What if I feel the burden of the pain and nightmares
That my particular life has borne?
Should I eat a bullet in fear,
No.
Better to bear witness, with eyes open
Unafraid
Unashamed
To be human.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
And Generatons Pass
God loves war
It is His theater
Out of the ground
Man was made
The same dark,
Bloody and haunted
Ground of his birth
Where Abel lies buried
By a brother
Who toiled the ground
And generations pass
Each fighting for
A small plot
While God is on the side
Of the defender
So too God is on the side
Of the invader
Watching this brutal drama
Unfolding by starlight
Through a thousand tongues
And out of the ground
From which he rose
For which he fought
Believed, bled, struggled
Into this same ground
He crawls back
And generations pass
As the weapons grew deadlier
His heart grew colder
His head confused
By his God's delight
In comedy, tragedy, history
As generations pass...
And what a show it is!
It is His theater
Out of the ground
Man was made
The same dark,
Bloody and haunted
Ground of his birth
Where Abel lies buried
By a brother
Who toiled the ground
And generations pass
Each fighting for
A small plot
While God is on the side
Of the defender
So too God is on the side
Of the invader
Watching this brutal drama
Unfolding by starlight
Through a thousand tongues
And out of the ground
From which he rose
For which he fought
Believed, bled, struggled
Into this same ground
He crawls back
And generations pass
As the weapons grew deadlier
His heart grew colder
His head confused
By his God's delight
In comedy, tragedy, history
As generations pass...
And what a show it is!
Friday, August 15, 2014
This land, And the people that walk it
Watch this land
Always be careful
It likes nothing better
Than to rise up
And strike you hard
On the heel
Like a viper
This land
And the people that walk it
Sin is their nature
Sudden violence their sin
So be careful
Where you step
Around here.
Always be careful
It likes nothing better
Than to rise up
And strike you hard
On the heel
Like a viper
This land
And the people that walk it
Sin is their nature
Sudden violence their sin
So be careful
Where you step
Around here.
Monday, August 11, 2014
I am the Blind Man
I look but do not see
I feign to shadows
My heart pounds
Confusing sounds near me
I have weak hands to grasp
I have no teeth to bite
I crave food always
And it fails to nourish me
I live like this
In a city unknown
I am rendered thus
I am the Blind Man.
I feign to shadows
My heart pounds
Confusing sounds near me
I have weak hands to grasp
I have no teeth to bite
I crave food always
And it fails to nourish me
I live like this
In a city unknown
I am rendered thus
I am the Blind Man.
in security
who do you accuse?
with your presence
forced violently into
my sleeping life
you smell of cigar smoke
and skin bracer
and yellowing paper
i find you whispered
who do you accuse?
with your menacing glare
behind leathery eyes
formaldehyde suit stiff
you haunt the night
and all other places
where honest men tremble
in labyrinthine sanctuaries
who do you accuse?
and why do i bother to ask
because i know it is me
i know by my fear
i am guilty of nothing
nothing save my fear
but it is enough
cut from my own soul
there is no guilt
there is only suspicion
there is no wrong done
none is needed
i have crawled on my belly
through small holes
walked dirt paths alone
through nightmare lands
i have wandered in mazes
among relics of my life
and watched good men die
from the sin of my fear
hopeless
helpless
but honest
i am who i accuse
who do you accuse?
with your presence
forced violently into
my sleeping life
you smell of cigar smoke
and skin bracer
and yellowing paper
i find you whispered
who do you accuse?
with your menacing glare
behind leathery eyes
formaldehyde suit stiff
you haunt the night
and all other places
where honest men tremble
in labyrinthine sanctuaries
who do you accuse?
and why do i bother to ask
because i know it is me
i know by my fear
i am guilty of nothing
nothing save my fear
but it is enough
cut from my own soul
there is no guilt
there is only suspicion
there is no wrong done
none is needed
i have crawled on my belly
through small holes
walked dirt paths alone
through nightmare lands
i have wandered in mazes
among relics of my life
and watched good men die
from the sin of my fear
hopeless
helpless
but honest
i am who i accuse
who do you accuse?
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
But Maybe Now
A death song loud and clear
Where the winter wind crushes bone
The echo of silent suffering
A bloodless moment spent so alone.
Howling wind cuts a morning scream
Preaching hard through a prophet's feast
His eyes are all fear & trembling
But he's still got a taste for greed.
They say somethings are a mystery
Wonder, fear, and cold surprise
Digital pain and analog love
Every question built on a lie.
So, keep your eyes on the skyline
Keep your head to the ground
This is the kind of place where
A heart's not easily found...
But maybe now.
Where the winter wind crushes bone
The echo of silent suffering
A bloodless moment spent so alone.
Howling wind cuts a morning scream
Preaching hard through a prophet's feast
His eyes are all fear & trembling
But he's still got a taste for greed.
They say somethings are a mystery
Wonder, fear, and cold surprise
Digital pain and analog love
Every question built on a lie.
So, keep your eyes on the skyline
Keep your head to the ground
This is the kind of place where
A heart's not easily found...
But maybe now.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Sadducees
Imaginary fits
Of extra-ordinariness
By now you should know this
That, this is all there is.
And I would be remiss
Thus fail to reminisce
Of a life I didn't live
Because this is all there is.
It's nice to be nothing
That comes with no warning
With digestive contorting
I speak & write & sing
It's all how I carry myself
Hollowed out like a shell
That from a shotgun fell
With a sound deadly to tell...
I know just what to expect
Fingers locked around my neck
Repaid a cancelled check
A victim of my own neglect--
And all there is inside
Of rage & formaldehyde
I won't, I will, I tried
Found wanting every time.
In all ways, found wanting.
"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer..." Matthew 23:14
Of extra-ordinariness
By now you should know this
That, this is all there is.
And I would be remiss
Thus fail to reminisce
Of a life I didn't live
Because this is all there is.
It's nice to be nothing
That comes with no warning
With digestive contorting
I speak & write & sing
It's all how I carry myself
Hollowed out like a shell
That from a shotgun fell
With a sound deadly to tell...
I know just what to expect
Fingers locked around my neck
Repaid a cancelled check
A victim of my own neglect--
And all there is inside
Of rage & formaldehyde
I won't, I will, I tried
Found wanting every time.
In all ways, found wanting.
"Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer..." Matthew 23:14
A Poem for A Song Called 'Sense of Style'
"That rug really tied the room together, did it not?"---Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski
I'll sit here, but I won't be near
I listen close, but I won't hear
In a room for a bit, but it's too intricate
Lines so delicate, their lies deliberate
Did you buy this?
Is it a torture kit?
Did you consider that
I might truly be sick?
I'll look at you, but I won't be the room
Bright-colored gloom, that laughs at me & you
A view askance, to this postmodern dance
No, this furniture, wasn't put here by chance
So you are a knife
Twisted deep inside
And my soul can't survive
Your sense of style
I'll sit here, but I won't be near
I listen close, but I won't hear
In a room for a bit, but it's too intricate
Lines so delicate, their lies deliberate
Did you buy this?
Is it a torture kit?
Did you consider that
I might truly be sick?
I'll look at you, but I won't be the room
Bright-colored gloom, that laughs at me & you
A view askance, to this postmodern dance
No, this furniture, wasn't put here by chance
So you are a knife
Twisted deep inside
And my soul can't survive
Your sense of style
Sunday, August 3, 2014
In Equality
How can you & I share the same space & time?
Are we only foolish, immature, or completely blind?
On a planet where things should be more than "I" alone,
It's hard to understand the structures & functions imposed.
I saw a little kid, in passing, maybe sometime last Tuesday...
And I could feel the hunger & hope of his heart starve away.
In eyes that screamed with pain & rage & need,
He saluted the flag, said a prayer, & died. Inequality.
Are we only foolish, immature, or completely blind?
On a planet where things should be more than "I" alone,
It's hard to understand the structures & functions imposed.
I saw a little kid, in passing, maybe sometime last Tuesday...
And I could feel the hunger & hope of his heart starve away.
In eyes that screamed with pain & rage & need,
He saluted the flag, said a prayer, & died. Inequality.
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